The choice to defederate from woem.men

The choice to defederate from woem.men was not made lightly nor was it made based on information from one source. We understand that those who were unaware of the ongoing situation may see this as sudden or an overreaction. Defederation is a last resort option. We don’t want anyone to lose connections and we are highly connected with the instance. However, after considering all available information, including statements from woem.men, we felt this action was necessary for the safety of our community.

This is not the first time such allegations have come to light and then dismissed in similar fashion. At this point, we are seeing a pattern of behavior and a pattern of how that behavior is then justified. Ashten has stated (archive) that “[minors] have recognized some kind of immunity” where they can be flirty and “ruin the person, even if the person never actually flirts back.” This is an incredibly concerning sentiment considering the allegations involved and who Ashten surrounds herself with.

Laying out the stories of all the victims here, so that their trauma can be scrutinized and litigated feels inappropriate at best. In many ways, the reason we felt it was necessary to defederate from woem.men is not because of the allegations, but because of the response to them. Having spoken to multiple victims, having seen Ashten and those who surround her attempt to justify and de-emphasize the real harm done has only made it more and more clear this is a necessary action to protect our community. This explanation is light on receipts. It’s light on the drama. Because this isn’t drama. Or at least, it shouldn’t be.

At the end of the day, most of the attempts from woem.men to combat these allegations have come down to a question of intent - did the adult in question mean for the interactions with minors to be seen as sexual. It is our opinion, especially after talking to victims, that even if we take these statements of intent at their word, they are insufficient. These interactions were inappropriate and seen by the victims as sexual, some at the time and some in retrospect. These interactions resulted in real trauma. Litigating intent in this situation shows a lack of accountability and an unwillingness to recognize the harm they have done.

As such, due to the continuation of this situation, and how the numerous attempts in the past year(s) at solving and rectifying it have not resulted in significant and fundamental response, we are defederating from woem.men for the safety of our community.